THERE’S A LOT to love about blowjobs—especially if you’re on the receiving end. You get to sit back, relax, and enjoy the feeling of a warm, wet mouth wrapped around your penis. (Bonus: There’s no chance of pregnancy!) But have you ever wondered if women like giving blowjobs as much as you enjoy receiving them?
Do women like giving blowjobs?
Survey says… yes! Turns out, 92.6 percent of women like giving blow jobs, according to a 2021 survey of 1,114 heterosexual and bisexual women by Bad Girls Bible. That said, 76.8 percent of respondents also admitted that they’d given a blow job in the past that they did not enjoy.
Another survey of 1,046 women, the 2015 Sexual Exploration in America Study, reported that 21.3 percent of women said they found giving oral sex “very appealing,” 36.6 percent said it was “somewhat appealing,” 20 percent said it was “not appealing,” and 22.1 percent said it was “not appealing at all.” (Worth noting: About 91 percent of the study respondents identified as heterosexual, so it’s safe to assume the vast majority of these women are taking “giving oral sex” to mean “giving blowjobs”.)
Truth is, there’s no sex act that’s universally pleasurable, says Dr. Jess O’Reilly, Ph.D., a Toronto-based sexologist and host of the “Mind-Blowing Oral” video series. But, there are tons of reasons why oral sex can be just as pleasurable for the giver as it is for the receiver.
“It can be exciting to give your partner pleasure, so if you see that they’re enjoying themselves, that can be a turn-on,” she says. In fact, “I like pleasuring my partner” was the most popular reason women cited for enjoying blow jobs, with 60.2 percent of Bad Girls Bible’s survey respondents choosing this response.
If you and your partner are into power play, that can be another fellatio-enhancing factor. “There’s also the balance between power and submission,” O’Reilly says. “You’re in control of their pleasure. You may be offering sweet, sensual sucking, but at any point, you could get rough—and some people like to play with the teasing component.”
Plus, getting wet can also mean getting a li’l wild. “You can weave any fantasy into the blowjob depending on your mood,” she adds. “And of course, some people simply love the sensations—the sounds, textures, and movements.”
Keep in mind that if your partner isn’t a fan of giving head, you need to respect that. In fact, the number-one reason women don’t enjoy giving a blow job is feeling pressured or forced into it, per the Bad Girls Bible survey. So, even though this should go without saying, enthusiastic consent is not only an essential part of every sexual experience, but it can also ensure that experience is actually enjoyable for everyone involved. (Trust that a blow job given out of genuine desire will feel much better—and likely last longer—than one done out of obligation.)
So, if your partner is down to go down on you, there are lots of ways to make blowjobs even more enjoyable for the woman in your life.
Here are some expert-approved tips that just might make the next blowjob experience feel—well, less like a job.
Give plenty of positive feedback.
When someone’s cheering you on, or telling you what a great job you’re doing, it makes you feel good. Moreover, it makes you want to keep doing whatever that is. Blowjobs are no exception, fellas.
“Don’t hold your breath or stifle your sounds,” says O’Reilly. “Moans, groans, exhales, movements, smiles, and effusive verbal appreciation are a turn-on for so many people.”
You can also combine dirty talk with verbal praise, adds Suzannah Weiss, a marriage and family therapist, sexologist, and AASECT-certified sex educator based in Los Angeles. “Some women may like hearing, ‘My cock feels so good in your mouth,’ or ‘You look so hot when you suck my cock.’”
Of course, dirty talk isn’t everyone’s *thing,* so ask your partner how she feels about it before spouting off a bunch of filthy phrases.
Make the conditions more comfortable.
Blowjobs can be hard work. Depending on what position the woman is in, her jaw might get tired, she might feel pressure on her knees, and her back might start to ache. “You want her attention on your penis and not her sore knees or a limb that’s lost feeling,” says Dr. Miro Gudelsky, DHS, a certified clinical sexologist and practicing sex therapist in Los Angeles and New York.
The simple (and obvious) solution: Ask what feels best for her. Does she want a pillow under her knees for support? Is it less physically taxing for her when you stand up or sit in a chair? Making these adjustments is a win-win. The more comfortable she is, the more pleasurable the experience will be for both of you—because she’ll likely be more inclined to stay down there longer.
Prioritize hygiene and grooming.
Look—we’re not saying your balls need to be bald, or your pubes need to be perfectly groomed. In fact, not every woman likes that, anyway.
Again, the best way to figure out what she likes is to just ask. Does she prefer when you’re smooth-shaven, or would she rather see you neatly trimmed?
At minimum, most women tend to appreciate when you’ve at least put a little effort into manscaping. Having a ton of prickly hairs brush against your face—or worse, get caught in your teeth—can definitely kill the vibe.
And while you’re doing some pruning down there, grab some mild soap, too. It’s a good idea to wash your pubic area shortly before receiving oral sex, says Weiss, especially if you’ve recently been sweating. “Make sure everything you want her to put in her mouth is funk-free,” adds Gudeksly. “In a pinch, you can even use wipes when you go to the bathroom pre-blowjob to keep things fresh.”
Always ask where you should finish.
If you’re fortunate enough to receive an orgasm-inducing blowjob, the least you can do is give your partner the courtesy of asking where you should finish, Gudelsky says. It’s just the respectful thing to do. “You may be surprised by the answer,” she adds. “But you definitely don’t want to surprise her when you explode.”
Some women may find it sexy if you finish in their mouth, while others may shudder at the thought. Find out ahead of time what your partner prefers so that when you’re getting close to the grand finale, you can just enjoy the orgasm rather than stressing about how to handle it.
Find out what makes it fun for her.
One more time for the bros in the back: If you’re not sure what your lady enjoys during oral, just ask her. As O’Reilly puts it, “Communication is lubrication.”
Are there certain words she likes to hear when going down on you? Would wearing a vibrating cock ring add to the experience for her? Maybe she wants you to lie still so she can control the depth of penetration—or maybe she likes to stay shallow with her mouth and use her hands at the same time, says O’Reilly. The point is, you’re not a mind reader, and asking these kinds of questions shows your partner that you care about making the experience more pleasurable for her.
“You can also encourage her to touch herself while she’s going down on you, or even to use a toy,” Weiss adds.
While you’re at it, O’Reilly also recommends finding out what she doesn’t like. If, for example, she hates feeling a hand on her head or cringes when you call her a “good girl,” that’s good information to have.
And if there are certain factors that would take your blowjob up a notch—say, some playful spitting, a hand gently cupping or stroking your balls, or eye contact from your partner—don’t be afraid to ask. But be polite about it, and make sure your partner knows she has the ultimate say.
“Make requests—not demands or complaints,” says O’Reilly. Words to live—and get licked—by!
Jordyn Taylor is the Executive Digital Editor at Men’s Health. She is the co-author of ‘Best. Sex. Ever.: 200 Frank, Funny & Friendly Answers About Getting It On,’ and an adjunct professor at New York University’s Arthur L. Carter Journalism Institute. She’s covered sex, relationships, health, wellness, and LGBTQ+ issues since 2013, and has previously worked as a reporter and editor at Mic and the New York Observer.
Rebecca Strong is a Boston-based freelance writer and podcast host covering health and wellness, relationships, lifestyle, and travel. In addition to writing for Men’s Health, she has also contributed to Business Insider, Health.com, Healthline, AskMen, Bustle, Well+Good, Clean Plates, StyleCaster, and Eat This Not That, among other outlets. Her work has been shared and promoted by Drew Barrymore, Arianna Huffington, Esther Perel, and Good Morning America. You can tune into her podcast Well-Bent on Apple Podcasts and Spotify, or follow along on Twitter and Instagram via @wellbentpod.
